Sep 04 2008
Do Rich People Deserve Your Sympathy… And Your Money!?
You probably aren’t aware of this but rich people have a hard time.
And, I’m ashamed to say, I’m partly to blame!
Recently, I’ve criticised wealthy execs and politicians for being uncaring monsters who manipulate the world for profit, when, in reality, they’re simply trying to live their lives as best they can. They have it just as tough as anyone. Tougher even!

For example, have you ever stopped to think just how absolutely awful it must be to drive a Lamborghini?
No!?
So imagine all those precious hours wasted through constantly having to fill up the tank because it gets only 8 mpg. Not to mention the cost with oil prices rocketing!
But the true nightmare must surely be the curse of having an educated palate.
- You can’t visit most towns as so few have five star gourmet restaurants.
- You can’t shop cheaply at Wal-Mart but must use costly specialist retailers.
- You can’t pop to the drive-through if you’re peckish, but must phone your exclusive restaurant, praying for a cancellation and a free table!
With so many restrictions, it’s like being in prison!
So, have a heart - give the rich a break! Maybe even slip a few bucks under a parked Lamborghini’s windshield wipers next time you see one.
But that’s going to leave a huge void - who the hell can we bitch about!?
Okay, after meticulous research, I’ve found a few substitute hopefuls.
Who? People who had life handed to them on a silver platter, but spat on it and threw it right back. Scum who laze away their days while the rest of us good people do all the grunt work!
Okay, let’s see who best deserves our scorn.
Candidate one: George
When 28-year-old George is not larking about with his friends as if he’s on holiday in gloriously sunny Bihar, India, the last thing on his mind is pursuing a career! With a gift for wanton laziness, George used to scrounge handouts from international aid agencies, but has recently embraced a new government initiative.
Not only did George welcome this initiative because it’s free, but it’s a damn fun hobby - George fritters away his days digging through garbage to catch rats to feed his family.
Having rejected all the chances life handed him, George believes he’s all but won the lottery by falling upon this golden opportunity where his food is free while suckers have to work to live!
That’s candidate number one: George, work shy bum.
Candidate Two: Rachel
While George is just plain lazy, Rachel’s attitude is verging on the criminal.
Born into a respected family on an idyllic Caribbean island, Rachel could’ve had a fabulous future filled with fame and fortune.
Forsaking an education and a career in favour of popping out half a dozen kids, Rachel now sees her days on Haiti filled with abject boredom. To cope, she plays childish games like baking mud cookies, which, while sounding vile, are surprisingly tasty and nutritious if the way her family gobbles them down is any indication!
And there’s her problem: the taste has caught on. Big time! Haitians just can’t get enough mud cookies. If only Rachel had applied herself and found a mentor or investment, she could’ve turned her mud cookie baking into a McDonalds-like multi-million dollar empire! Sadly, she just couldn’t be bothered.
That’s candidate number two: Rachel, unenterprising dunce.
Candidate Three: Paris
Whereas you could almost excuse the laziness of Candidates One and Two, there can be no excusing Candidate Three as, lucky little thing that she is, Paris was taken under the wing of a mentor with connections and money to back her.
Given golden opportunities most of us can only dream of -
- travelling to exotic locations
- meeting people of means
- experiencing new cultures
- did she embrace her good fortune?
Yeah, right!
Paris wastes most of her day lounging in bed till all hours. She takes very little interest in the many, many, many male visitors she receives; cares nothing for the country in which her mentor has kindly given her lodging - at great personal expense and risk; and she selfishly keeps the other girls awake at night by sobbing and babbling East European gibberish.
A mentor, connections, travel - why are some people so blind when opportunity knocks?
That’s candidate number three: Paris, ungrateful slut.
So, take your pick. Three handsome losers if ever there was a single one. Which is most deserving of our abject derision?
But wait…
Luckily, the world has billions of people like George, Rachel, and Paris, so there are plenty to go around. Check it out:
- Up to two million people are trafficked annually creating a $30 billion industry.
- Bihar’s Principal Secretary says rats are “rich in nutrition” so are the ideal diet for India’s poverty-stricken millions.
- Food prices have risen 40% in Haiti this year so people just can’t get enough mud cookies, yet few own global conglomerates!
Next time we feel that life is treating us badly - perhaps our cupboard is bare of rats and we can’t afford mud for cookies because our pimp says we haven’t screwed enough strangers - maybe we should question just how bad we really have it.
Sometimes it’s difficult to judge who is rich… Conversely, it’s usually crystal clear who is truly poor!
So go. See. Feel. Live.
Steve
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Related posts:
- How You can get Rich from Exploiting the Poor!
- Values – are they as disposable as everything else?
- China – Saddle up, Boys, We’re Going In!
What do you think? Have your say - leave a comment!
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