Nov 06 2008
Heroes - Do We Need Them?
Life Coaches, Gurus, Mentors, Role Models… we all need someone to inspire us, to help us not just reach our goals but find the right ones to aim for.
Be it a book, a teacher, a movie, a parent there’s always some catalyst that impacts on us so much it sends our lives in a new direction.
So, today, I’d like to introduce you to someone who impacted on me. A mentor, if you will.
Why?
Because by confronting fears or embracing new experiences, we focus our lives and attain goals that might otherwise have remained merely dreams. By sharing, I hope to inspire.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet Lucy…
Don’t panic. There hasn’t been some internet glitch - yes, that is Lucy!
- Okay, role model-wise, I could’ve picked my parents.
- Or, with a degree in Philosophy, maybe Plato or Descartes.
- Or from a writing standpoint, Stephen King, Paulo Coelho, James Cameron…
But I didn’t. In this instance, I’ve chosen Lucy. Lucy the spider.
Why?
Ah… now there’s the question.
And the answer?
She gave me a tangible gift that no one else ever could have!
When I was four-years-old I had a nightmare: I was caught in a web and a giant spider tried to eat me. Bawling my eyes out, I ran downstairs for my mum and dad to protect and comfort me. But…
They’d gone out and left my uncle babysitting. The compound effect of the spider trauma, then no parental comfort was simply too much and to this day spiders give me the creeps. Not that I wail like a little girl and jump on a chair if I see one, but I do shudder if a big one gets too close. All because of some stupid dream.
However, despite my irrational anxiety, if I find a spider crawling across my carpet the last thing I’ll do is squish it. And that’s not because I’ve got an expensive carpet!
“Steve, they’re just pesky insects. Swat ‘em and get on with your life, you loser!”
Now, just hold up there, Sparky - there’s a tale to be told here. (And they’re Arachnids, not insects!)
You see, maybe I shouldn’t say ‘to this day spiders give me the creeps.’ Months and months ago, an enormous spider moved into the corner of our bathroom ceiling above the shower. Unable to reach it, we had to simply leave it there.
As time went by, it got so I’d check on it whenever I went into the bathroom. Not through fear that it might jump on me, but curiosity. And from that came… friendship.
“Steve, what are you talking about? Friendship? With a spider?!”
Okay, it was kind of one-sided. I can’t count the bugs I threw into Lucy’s web, yet how many times did she say, ‘Fancy a beer, Steve? I owe you one for all these flies.’ Never! That’s how many.
Anyway, it got that I’d chat to her as you would your dog. Ania thought it strange, but funny. (But I did catch her saying ‘Good morning, Lucy.’ once, which I’d bet wasn’t an isolated incident.)
One night, Lucy had built a second web in the opposite corner of the ceiling, so, being friends now, I stood on the toilet to get really up close and personal - no mean achievement after being creeped-out of spiders for decades!
What I found amazed me.
Lucy wasn’t just a big, scary, black spider. She was big, yes. Quite scary, yes. But black? No. She was many shades of brown, with some striking markings. She was… beautiful. I studied her for a good 15 minutes.
After that, many a night Ania sat in bed patiently waiting while I stood on the toilet for some quality time with Lucy.
Weeks later, I found another spider trapped in the kitchen sink. Normally, I’d have folded some paper to catch it in, but this time, I carefully put my hand under it, gently scooped it up, then set it free somewhere safe.
Without hypnotherapy, gallons of beer, or piles of cash, there’s no way I would have done that just a month earlier. But, through knowing Lucy, I got over my anxiety. Some tiny creature that had no real interaction with me, who was at my complete mercy as to whether she lived or died, helped me with an irrational mindset. (I won’t say ‘phobia’ as it wasn’t an extreme reaction.)
So what’s the point of this tale? Well, I could have crushed Lucy on first sight; I could’ve caught her when she went walkabout; I could have destroyed her web so she ran away. Instead, I let her live. And I became a better, stronger person for it.
One of the secrets to evolving individually and as a species is in keeping our minds open.
- We must seek out new experiences, new knowledge, new adventures.
- We must not allow irrational fears to dictate the course of our lives, ultimately denying us the freedom of choice we deserve.
- We must push ourselves to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, beauty in ugliness, logic in chaos.
Like the result of me giving Lucy a home, you’ll be amazed at the consequences of even the tiniest of actions and how they can enrich our lives and, through a knock-on effect, potentially enrich the whole world.
If Lucy can inspire me, what can other seemingly inconsequential experiences do for me, for you, for everyone?
So go. See. Feel. Live.
Steve
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